Tag Archives: Uncategorized

Successfully Handling Flaky Women: Part II


In part I of this two part series, we addressed the question of why women flake. We laid out  9 reasons and then a 10th,  all pervasive reason: she is looking for strength and is hungry for communication she perceives she can trust.

I also made the point that it is important to avoid two responses, because both of them smack of being needy and being needy turns women off.

I told you to avoid being angry/losing control and also to avoid
whining and begging.

In this issue, I will show you how to construct some word for word responses to these flaky scenarios to give these girls a fighting chance to re-qualify for the right to compete to be in your bed! (How is that for attitude!)

The Incredible Power Of Implication

Now, a sub-principle I teach is this: whatever you can get a woman to imagine, will be perceived by her as being HER OWN THOUGHT, because she imagined it, and therefore she will not resist it.

What you have to argue or pressure or give reasons to a woman about, even if it is really in her own best interests, will be
perceived as coming from outside of herself and will usually be
resisted!

Now, one good tool to get around this “resistance barrier” is
implication.

When you imply something, rather than clearly state it, the
listener has to fill in the blank with their own imagination, so the thought appears to be coming from inside of their own mind.

Let me give you a simple example.  Suppose you weren’t returning
my calls, for whatever reason.

If I called you up and directly said, “If you don’t return my call I won’t call you back any more. I’m not going to chase after you to try to make you be my friend” you would probably think I’m quite a jerk-off and would probably not call me back.

If instead, I wanted to IMPLY that I wasn’t going to call you back again after this, I’d say something like, “Hey, it’s dick and I thought I’d give it a last shot at getting a chance to talk. People get busy and have their own reasons but you just seemed like someone worth SOME work at befriending.  You can call me back at:  12345”

So what does that message imply?

1. I’m not calling again. How does it imply this?  By using the
words “last shot”.

2. I’m busy too and it’s ok with me if you are busy. That’s not a reason not to return a call.  How does it imply this? “People get busy”. Notice I didn’t SAY that I am busy or that you are busy. I used the vague term “People”.

3. I have my doubts about you but I’m cool enough to give you a shot at proving my doubts are wrong and my initial good assessment was right.  How do I imply this? By saying you SEEMED like someone worth SOME work at befriending.  SEEMED implies maybe I was wrong. SOME work implies that I didn’t place THAT high an estimate on you, so you have some work to do to live up to my standards.

Now, this message still might not work at all. But by using this
implication, it gives you a chance to get off your ass just in case you were distracted by other things, and reach out for the opportunity.

Using Frames And Positioning

Notice also, the message allows me to position myself as someone
with a lot of good stuff going on who is NOT needy and who is
totally cool about letting it all go. I’m saying I will NOT chase you down but I WILL give you a shot at proving you are a cool person. So I set a frame of strength and that YOU are the one who is going to miss out.

By the way, depending on how much has already gone on and happened between us, I might actually blatantly state that we are BOTH going to miss out, but even there I will use implication to make you wonder exactly HOW you might be missing out, so YOU will fill in the blank and imagine it!

For example, on more than one occasion, I’ve let this message for women, after having a seemingly wonderful first encounter(whether that meant making out, going full Monty or whatever)  and then not having calls returned:

“Hey Debby, it’s Ross. Well, I just thought I’d give it a last shot at seeing whether spending time again is something you realize YOU WANT TO DO.  You know, if we don’t it will be a loss for me, but maybe what you haven’t yet realized is, it will be a loss for you as well..maybe in ways you haven’t yet considered.  And losing is something no one wants to do. So you can call me back at:  555-1212”.

Now, there is something else in this message:  I am approaching from a position of vulnerability without need.  I am admitting I will feel some loss(so I don’t come off as an arrogant moron) yet it is not done with any begging tonality or need.

Remember,  I leave these messages with a very matter-of-fact tone, as if I were telling someone, “hey, your shoe is untied”.  It’s very matter-of-fact, evenly paced, even toned, with very little emotion.

If you can show SOME vulnerability but do it from strength and convey no need,  you make a powerful message.

Again, it sets the frame of someone who has SOME interest, but
doesn’t need them and that you can walk away.

Also, look at how I get her to consider how it might be a loss for her without saying exactly what that loss might be.

Sure, she might just think, “Who cares? Screw off!”

In that case, nothing would have worked anyway.

No Punish, No Pressure, No Push

But remember, assuming one of the 10 reasons for flaking is at
play and she is just distracted or a little scared, this message
gives her a chance to step back up to the plate and show some
better behavior your way, without making her feel punished,
pressured or pushed!

It’s a “take or leave it” thing you are presenting, but a
gentle, non-threatening,  non-needy…

Take It Or Leave It!

Remember, the reality is, we don’t know what her situation is.
By staying vague, sticking to the facts as you do know them, and
presenting the right frame,  you give the situation and her a
fighting chance to work for you, all the while preserving your
morale, self-esteem and self-respect.

Another Word For Word Example

Here is a message I left for a woman-she had given me a couple
of massages and seemed to have a more personal interest in me.
We met for coffee and she was wildly responsive to me(people
were staring at us getting closer and closer at the coffee
place).

Then, for some reason, she flaked on a meeting and stopped
returning my calls.

So here is the message I left her, along with my analysis.  The
message I left  is in “quotes” an directly below each line, I
give my comments on what I am doing.

“Hey Amber, it’s dick.  So, I’m just wondering what is going
on.”

This just identifies me and why I am calling.

“You haven’t returned my calls and then you flaked on a meeting”

This tells her what behavior I am addressing. It is also matter
of factually pacing the situation, stating what is going on.

“You know, I thought you and I were at least BECOMING friends”

This tells her that I now have doubts about her. And it gives
her a safe way to temporarily think about our situation with
less pressure if she is feeling pressured or scared. By using
the “f” word I can back her up a bit and I feel ok doing this
because I got such strong responses during the coffee sarge.  As
long as YOU use this label first, before she does, it doesn’t
present the danger of you being put in the “friends” box.

“But this doesn’t feel like the way friends treat friends”

Here, you are implying that you deserve a higher standard of
treatment than what she is giving you. Why? Because you and she are not strangers. Also, it is vague: according to whom does it not feel like the way friends treat friends?  You are deleting who is making the judgment, so it has a hypnotic effect.

“At best it feels distracted and at worst, it feels thoughtless”

You are showing that you understand there is more than one possibility: maybe she ISN’T being a rude bitch and is just really busy and distracted.  You are HOPING she will prove that your best thoughts about her are true and that your worst thoughts about her are NOT true, but you aren’t sure which right now. Maybe you were wrong about the good thoughts you had about her!

In either case, it sets the frame that she has to prove herself to you now!

Notice, you have implied all this. If you directly stated it, she’d never call you back again.

Implication is a woefully powerful tool, my friend.  Women use it on us all the time!

“And that second choice just doesn’t feel like you”

Here you are showing you really do have a good image of her but you still have some doubt. It doesn’t FEEL like her, but it might, alas and alack, still be true, much to your sorrow!

“So if you have some explanation and want to call, you can reach me at: 12345

 

Gives her an opportunity to do the desired behavior.

Now, I just recently used this again(it works about 60-70% of the time) and the woman left me a message falling all over herself apologizing, saying she hoped she was forgiven and really wanted to make it up to me.

It turned out her mother had gone into the hospital with a very
serious health challenge and that she was besides her self with
stress-that she was preparing to fly home to see her mother and her family but could I possibly see her in the next few days before she left town?

In this case, this fine young lady just got distracted by a nasty life event that would have distracted any one.

By using implication, by refraining from pushing, punishing or
pressuring, the sarge is now back on,  with the proper frame set
that I put value on myself, don’t put up with crap, will walk away but also will be fair with her and give her a chance to prove to me that she really is a wonderful human being!

Does It Always Work?

Now, nothing works all the time. Remember the rule: when women act this way, we never know exactly what is going on.

When this kind of response that I just explained doesn’t work, you can be sure that nothing else would have worked either and you at least gave it your best shot.  Remember, some of those 9 out of 10 reasons just can’t be addressed, fixed or handled other than walking away.  So be it and so it is.

Hard Core Flakes: Hard Core Responses

Sometimes the flaking really gets in your face.

I’m not talking about not returning calls.   Or a woman being
legitimately busy or have a legit emergency.

I’m talking about either: her calling at the last minute and
canceling with a very lame excuse.

Or: her not showing up for an agreed meeting and then not calling with a few hours with an explanation or apology, prior to you have any established history with her.

(Remember, context is everything.  If you have already been intimate with her and are seeing her a few months and she suddenly doesn’t show up or call, probably something out of her control went wrong, and it’s probably more appropriate and ACCURATE to be genuinely worried about her! I am talking here about women you have just met and/or have not yet been physically intimate with)

Last Minute Canceling

In my experience, last minute canceling is pretty bad news.  She
is almost always hiding something.

She either already has an involvement and is having serious second thoughts or she has something else going on that is embarrassing in nature that she just does not want to reveal.

Could be a drug problem.

Could be she’s on probation.

Maybe her pimp called her and told her tonight’s a “working” night.

Maybe her herpes simplex 9 has reached  “United Nations sanctions levels” and she is being quarantined.

Hey,you never, NEVER know.

In those cases, just know you did your best and you are not going to get anywhere and should probably be glad about it.

But in about 25% of the cases, she’s just having some cold feet and you can get around it.

Here’s what you do when she calls:

“Hi dick,  it’s Debby Dimshine. Sorry..I can’t make it.  I have to wash my hair” or whatever lame-ass story she tells you.

Just go silent on her.

Don’t say anything.

“Hello? Are you there?”

Then say, “Look, we made plans and now you’re canceling on me at
the last minute.. I understand sometimes emergencies come up, but when people make plans with me, I expect them to keep them.  I’ll always respect your time but I expect that same respect back.  You call me when you know YOU CAN DO THAT.”

Then hang up.

The Very Subtle Implication At The Heart Of This

Now, this is pretty strong stuff.  Little or no implication here.  But you are still doing this without losing control; you are stating what is going on, you are stating your rules, you are offering to be fair about it and extend to her what you expect from her, and then you are telling her what she has to do next IF she is interested.

With this message, in this circumstance. it is ok to sound a little miffed. A bit pissed. A bit annoyed.

Why?

Because, in this case, you ought to be.

Your time is valuable(or should be). This person IS wasting your
time by disrespecting your scheduling and wasting time you could
have spent with others.

That IS legit cause for a legitimately self-respecting person to be a little pissed.

But notice, it isn’t about losing her.

It’s about losing your time.  You have implied in this message that your time is very valuable by saying you expect her to respect it.  You wouldn’t expect respect for something you yourself didn’t value.

You are implying that you value something more than you value her: always a challenge for women!

You didn’t say this directly.

You implied it.  Subtly. You silver-tongued Speed Seducing devil!

Sometimes You Can’t “Win”

As the Chinese say, “If you can’t be grateful for what you’ve won, be grateful for what you’ve managed to avoid”.

Some women, my friend, are just not worth it.

Some women really are self-absorbed, live-in-the-moment, arrogant shit-heads and flakes and frankly we wouldn’t even look at them twice or put any importance on them if they didn’t come wrapped in pretty packaging.

Swiftly letting these kinds of women eliminate themselves from
your life is the best favor they could possibly do for you!

You need an arrogant, self-centered, flaky or deeply disturbed
woman like you need an inflamed pee pee-hole, my dear student!

Remember: set standards for the women who will compete to get into your bed.  The man who is the most selective, paradoxically winds up having the best(if not the most) selections!

Peace and piece,

Aldy harold A.K.A VJ

 

P.S. Notice how what I’ve written here fits in with what I said in an earlier issue of this newsletter about compassion.  Remember that whether that woman you want is pleasing you or frustrating you, ignoring or adoring you, she is still a human, like you. She came in the same way you did: naked baby. She will go out the same way you will: no more breathing. And in between those two events, whether she’s sweet as sugar or bitter as a bitch, she’s still just trying to figure it all out.

Compassion, neutrality, clarity and a sense of humor will power you a good way longer with people than bullying, begging, rage or sentiment.

So, rather than let uncertainty fuel fires that ought never be lit
in the first place, just admit you don’t know for sure what is going on.

Then get curious, get playful, consult your intuition, and give it your best shot with a sense of fun!

Doesn’t that make sense?

Why Women Flake, And How To Successfully Handle It, Part I


I have a feeling this is going to be one of my most popular, well-read, well responded to and forwarded-to-friends issues that I will ever write.

Listen:

One of the most common challenges I hear about from my students is dealing with “flaky” women.

How do you handle it when everything seems to be going smoothly with a woman, and suddenly they stop calling.  Or they don’t show up. Or all communication ceases and they just seem to “disappear”.

Now, there are many different schools of thought on this.

Some would say just forget about it and let her go. See if she comes back.  And I can see some wisdom in that.

Others say, get angry. Call her on her bullshit.  Be really hardcore about it.

I say, the best answer, first and foremost is to gain some
understandings about why a woman can act flaky.

1. She just wasn’t interested in the first place.   Ok, that’s
possible, but if you use these tools I am teaching properly and
screen properly, you probably are going to create SOME interest,
most of the time.

2. She had some interest, but not enough to move her forward in
the way you wanted her to.

3. She has some guy(or girl!) in the background that she didn’t tell you about and now she feels guilty and doesn’t want to screw it up with that existing real-hate-shun-ship. Or that person is on an emotional roller coaster with her and is destroying the stability of her moods and her ability to make a decision.

4. She just has problems with intimacy, or her emotions/moods  in general. She’s been burned, hurt, is depressed, emotionally unavailable or shut down.  Or she’s into drugs and someone offered her a line of coke or a hit of heroin and you went right out the window! Or she’s having a depressive episode and can’t even get out of bed!

5. She’s having some serious life crisis or challenge; a relative is sick, she’s in trouble financially, she’s having legal problems, etc.  SHIT HAPPENS, even to the chicks we want.

6.  She was interested(and still might be) but you just PUSHED TOO FAST, TOO HARD! You interrupted her own “crush” process and timing with your calls, and attention.

7. Something very positive has happened in her life to distract her: she landed the part in the movie, she got a new job that
excites her, she met someone else who closed the deal on her and
she had awesome, blow-her-mind secks(avoiding the spamfilters here, my friend) with him. Now you are out of the picture.

8. She was very interested. You really got to her. But related to reason #4, she is just not ready for strong emotions right now in her life. You got to her and it scared her silly. It happens.

9. It’s an X-file. A mysterious disappearance that you will never explain, until you come face to face with the Aliens who know all and who secretly pull the strings of human destiny.

Now, on the technical side, maybe you failed to establish sufficient comfort and connection.  Or maybe you didn’t get enough intrigue, arousal, and desire. Or maybe she gave you all the signals to close the deal, but for some reason you shied away from it and now she thinks you were just teasing her.

But assuming that isn’t true, that you did everything right and got great responses, if she isn’t returning your calls or is otherwise flaking out or acting cold or you just can’t get ahold of her, consider it one  or more of the 9 things going on.

The Very Powerful 10th Reason!

Now, let me state a 10th reason: on the unconscious level, she is looking for someone who is strong enough(and HONEST ENOUGH) to call her on her bullshit, without seeming needy in the process.

You see, I think women crave a man who is strong and also someone who is honest enough to express it when he is not happy with her behavior, WITHOUT being punishing and cruel about it. (Ok, so chicks do want and respond to punishment, but I am assuming you don’t want to be around THEM!)

They Want To Trust You AND They Want You To Be Strong

When you call a woman on her crap(without seeming needy or out of control) you are creating trust and showing your strength.

Why?

Because she gets that you are not just saying something “nice” to get into her pants. You are actually saying something that may risk offending her and even turning her away from you and yet you still do it because you are honorable and confident enough to speak your truth AND

……You Are Willing To Walk Away!

Your saying what you really think, because letting her hear your
truth regardless of what happens is important to you.  And being
willing to risk offending her and not having her in your life
demonstrates to her that you really are a guy with self-respect and a guy who has other options and that she’ll have to do some work for you.

Remember, if a woman wants you a little bit, she will want you a
lot more if she has to work for you and if she feels she can trust the communication from you!

Here is the formula:

Some interest on her part + trusting you are being sincere + seeing she has to work for you + seeing you have self-respect and you are willing to walk away = SUDDEN INCREASE IN INTEREST!

More On Creating Trust

To understand women, bear in mind that even(and especially) the
hottest women have lots of fear-based emotions around intimacy and sex. In fact, the hot ones are the ones who have probably been most lied to, because most guys will say and do anything to get a hot piece!

So when you say something that might actually drive her away,
paradoxically, it creates trust in her.

Why?

Because now she starts to see that you are NOT like those other guys who will put up with anything or say anything “nice” if it
will get them into her pants.

Instead, she perceives that you WILL tell  her what you really think, what you really want and what you expect, even if she doesn’t like it and even if it might drive her away!

Avoiding The Two Faces Of Needy!

Bear in mind that being punitive and nasty in your tone or words
is not going to work with any self-respecting women. (I am
assuming you do not want to attract the damaged ones).

It will both turn her off and scare her.

(There is a time for genuine, non-punitive anger, later in the
relationship, once she is deeply invested  in you. But now is not the time!)

So you will NOT lose control and get angry.

Why?

Not only would this scare her, but more importantly: getting angry and losing l control spells needy and desperate, as needy and desperate as someone who whines and begs for her attention.
******************************

********** 

Angry/loss of control = aggressive needy

Begging/whining = submissive needy.

It is all still being needy, one way or another.

So no whining. And no anger. Period. They both convey needy and needy drives women away like a crucifix to a vampire!

(By the way,  emotionally damaged women who are very submissive
mistakenly view aggressively needy men as being manly and confident! A sick dynamic and another reason to stay away from
that kind of response!)

So you will not get angry and punitive(unless you want sick women!)

Nor will you get clingy, whinny and desperate.

The best stance for you to take, for yourself, is to be “neutral”.

Neutral just means you acknowledge, to yourself(not her!) the facts of the situation.

That you don’t like what is going on.

That you don’t know for sure why it is happening.

And that you don’t like that you don’t know.

That, my friend, is neutral.

You would like things to change and be different, you will give it your best shot, but you acknowledge that you really don’t know what is happening.

Remember, these are all understandings to have for yourself, and
not necessarily something you will verbalize to her.

Being neutral keeps you out of the drama of assuming things for the worst. It opens the opportunity and possibility (though not a guarantee) that things could work better. And it keeps you clear
and emotionally stable and balanced in an area of life that probably has, up until now, been very hard and very challenging
for you.

All good outcomes for something so simple: being clear and neutral.

Ok.  We’ve gone on long enough in this issue. In part II, I will tell you how to construct your responses in a way that gives her an opportunity to step up to the plate and show much better behavior toward you and do it in a way that also highly raises her interest, even getting her to suddenly pursue you! So tune in tomorrow and tell your friends!

Peace and piece,

aldy Harold A.K.A. VJ

P.S. As you can see, I really do want you to have all the success you could ever want with women, without begging or bullying.  Being angry and punishing will work: with women who feel a deep need to be punished. But trust me, the drama and pain they will bring to you, the chaos and emotional roller coasters are NOT WORTH IT

How to pass a woman’s “B.S.” Test!


There’s a common saying in street fighting that 95% of all
real fights wind up in a clinch and go to the ground. Could that
really be true? Frankly, I don’t know. But I will say this: 95%
of the time, a woman will test you by the second date, or
sooner, to see:

1. If you’ll take her bullshit.

2. How hungry you are for her attention (remember: those who
look hungry, never get fed)

3. Just how much control she can exert over you and/or the
relationship.

In this issue, I’d like to talk about how you can pass those
tests, and how to do some testing of your own. Believe me, this
is important. If you’ve ever been dumped for being “too nice”,
or have been told, time and again, “let’s just be friends”, it’s
because you haven’t learned to recognize when you’re being
tested or just haven’t yet learned how to properly respond. You
thought you would get points for being “co-operative” and
“helpful”, and instead you just got the fuzzy end of the
lollipop.

Why She Tests You: The Search For Strength And Certainty

Look: one of the primary things that women are looking for
from a man is security; the feeling that someone is stronger
than they are. When you put a woman in her place, when you set
rules and boundaries for her to follow, it lets her know she can
relax around you and feel comfortable and secure. This search
for strength is the single most important reason why she tests
you. The other factor is ambivalence, or what I call the “make
up my mind for me” syndrome.

You see, the sad reality is that often a woman just isn’t
that interested in you one way or another. Maybe you aren’t
exactly the physical type she goes for, maybe she just got
burned in a bad relationship, or there’s some unseen competitor
who she’s waiting to hear from. What ever her reasons, you can
tell this is happening when you hear something like, “Uh…well,
I’d like to go out with you Friday, but why don’t you call me
late Friday afternoon and I’ll let you know for sure?”

Finally, there is the fact that sometimes, modern women just
get overwhelmed with eighty billion things they are trying to do
at once. And, when overwhelmed, they flake on commitments that
occur during the peak of the overwhelm.

How To Handle It…Dealing From A Position Of Strength

To get back to street fighting analogies, there’s a concept
from Jeet Kun Do, the fighting style of the late, great Bruce
Lee that basically says that any weapon thrust your way, as part
of an attack is just a convenient target to be destroyed. Coming
from this perspective, an attack, rather than something to be
feared, is just an unprecedented opportunity to…. KICK THE
OTHER GUY’S ASS!!!!

Just so, a woman’s bullshit and tests are great
opportunities to establish respect and dramatically increase her
interest in you. In other words, your response to these tests,
instead of being, “Oh no.…why is she doing this? What did I do
wrong?”, from now on will be…. AH, HAH! A RESPECT
OPPORTUNITY!!!

Look: your attitude has to be that every rude piece of
behavior, every silly test of hers is just an unprecedented
opportunity for you to establish respect, increase her interest,
and intensify her desire to please you. Taken from this
perspective, you’ll be mentally prepared, and may even find
yourself actually looking forward to her trying to pull shit,
since you know it’s your chance to get her really hot for
you!!!! Now, before we go on to some specific scenarios, let me
add one other thing: when you do put her in her place. …

IT’S GOT TO COME FROM THE RIGHT PLACE IN YOU!!!

In other words, the macho idiot who loses control and
trashes the place when his girlfriend comes home ten minutes
late is definitely not the example to follow. All he’s doing is
showing he can’t control himself and he just earns the woman’s
contempt. Notice I’m not saying you can’t or shouldn’t get a
little pissed. Just don’t go nutso with a stream of obscenities.
(Streams of obscenities are for afterwards, when you are in bed
with her.)

The other thing that doesn’t work is acting like a hurt
little boy. Whining stuff like, “How could you do this to me?”
or, “But you promised!” won’t cut it, good buddy. No. You have
to come from the calm, but firm “take it or leave it” position.
This is all part of displaying the critically important………

WILLINGNESS TO WALK AWAY FROM HER!!!

You see, after years of experience and study, I’ve come to
the conclusion that a woman can only experience real passion for
you if on some level she believes she could do something to lose
you! Understand that when you show this willingness to walk
away, in any area of your life, it conveys the message that you
are the prize to be pursued, that you are the person of value,
and they had better take advantage of the opportunity. This is
an attitude that will move you forward in any area that’s
challenging you.

By way of contrast, if you show a non-stop, forever and ever
devotion to her, and put up with her crap and ambivalence, then
where is that tension of knowing she could lose you? Answer:
nowhere! And that’s why you get nowhere when you put up with
this kind of stuff! If you’ve seen an initially hot relationship
grow ice-cold, this is one big reason!!! Ok. On to some
scenarios.

Scenario one: You call to ask her out for the first time.
Her response is ambivalent, something like, “Well, I’d like to
but, why don’t you call me later in the week and….” Here’s
your response: “Let me ask you a question, point blank. Is going
out with me something you can take or leave or is it something
that you’re smart enough that you really want to do that?” Then
shut the hell up and listen for her answer.

Now, what are you doing here? You’re calling her on her
ambivalence and letting her know you don’t have time to be put
on hold. And you’re also suggesting she’s stupid if she doesn’t
grab this opportunity.

Finally, you’re embedding a command (about which much more
later in other issues of this newsletter) that she really does
want to go out with you. Will this work? Very often it does.
It’s not what she’s expecting, and that always gets attention.
Just be as matter of fact and non-hostile as you can.
Understatement works best with this one. What if she still
hesitates? Well, say this one: You: Look. You have my number,
and I’m going to leave it up to you. And you know, if you don’t
call it’s going to be a loss for me, but maybe what you won’t
realize until after you hang up is, that it’ll be a loss for you
as well. Ok? Bye.

Scenario Two: She calls and cancels at the last minute
without offering to do it again at some specific time. (I’ve
heard every excuse in the book, my friend, from “My parakeet is
sick” to “I’ve got to shampoo the rug”. Seriously)

Her: I can’t make it. I’ve got a rare tropical disease
that’s causing me to shrink by the hour.

You:(dead silence for as long as it takes for her to talk
again. Just say NOTHING!!!)

Her: Hello? Are you there? What’s wrong?

You: What’s wrong is I can’t believe the bullshit I’m
hearing.

Her: What?????

You: Look…you made a commitment to spend time with me and
now you’re blowing me off. You’re disrespecting me and
disrespecting my time and I’m NOT going to put up with it. My
rule is, if someone makes a commitment to me, I expect them to
keep it. If they can’t keep it, I need to know at least a day in
advance so I can make other plans. Got it? If you can live with
that rule, great…if not, sayonara!

Then, HANG UP!! Now, this may sound extreme, but man does it
work well!!! In fact, she’ll probably call back with five
minutes and apologize and ask you out!!! I’m not kidding here;
I’ve seen the hardest, jaded bitches go to giggly little girls,
eager to please me when I’ve done this. It throws some kind of
switch in their heads. I guess with some people, you don’t
really get their attention until…

You Give Them A Swift Kick In The Ass!!

Please note, I’m speaking of an attitude. I am NOT talking
about or in any way suggesting or condoning physical violence
with a woman. In fact, I am against the use or threat of the use
of violence or force against ANY human being, unless there is an
imminent threat of violence against yourself or a loved one. I
can’t  make this too clear.  I’m talking about using your mind,
NOT your fists.

Scenario Three: You go to pick her up at her place and she
either keeps you waiting outside for more than ten minutes, or
lets you in and then proceeds to talk on the phone for at least
that long while totally ignoring you. Wait for her to finish,
and as soon as she does say something like this:

YOU: Can I ask you a question?

HER: Sure.

YOU: Are you being intentionally rude to test me, or are you
just accidentally acting clueless?

HER:(mouth dropping open in shock, unable to say anything!)

YOU: Don’t ever keep me waiting like this again, ok? I’ll
always treat you respectfully, but I expect the same. Do you
understand me?

HER: Uh..uh…yes.

The point is this: when women throw this stuff your way, you
want to do the unexpected. Don’t put up with it, like a “nice
guy” and don’t lose your temper like a jerk. Walk a middle
ground of strength, self-control AND self-respect, and these
tests will become opportunities to power her straight into your
bed.

And that certainly beats a poke in the eye, doesn’t it?

‘Til next time,

How Mixing “Love And Sex” Can Squash Your Suck-Sess


Here are a few worn-out, wasted, and woe-begone cliches you’ve probably heard before.

“Men and women must be in love before they have sex.” “Women will most likely have sex on the third date, but will not decide if they love him for another 6 months, because they believe love takes time.” (Is this why the “third date” is assigned so much importance?)

As you continue to master your girl-getting game and achieve more and more tight trim triumph… as you peel away the layers of doubt and beliefs that haven’t served you… please get this; discovering your false and limiting beliefs ARE GAINS!!!

As you see what actually works with women in the world, you cannot help having your old beliefs challenged and changed. As you change and challenge your old beliefs, you cannot help but make progress in the field.

This is what makes Speed Seduction® unique and special: it requires you deeply re-examine how you think about women, what attracts them, and indeed, what “attraction”, “love” “desire” really are, as PROCESSES with a structure, sequence, flow, movement etc.

Well, my belief is that you can NOT have a truly “loving” relationship WITHOUT sex. So there.

Forget about such stupid generalities as the “all important third date” and other calls to mastur-wait-ion. Those who preach these ideas base them on THEIR limits. Just because THEY need to go on “dates” and follow the “rules” to get the chick in bed, YOU should too. That’s how they’d have it.

I’ve had women “fall in love” with me in 20 minutes. Some never do.

Look, the real issue is: will doing as OTHERS say help YOU go where you need to?

What is the process – the methodology – by which YOU will discover what works and what is true? Do you really need written reassurances or can you move through some uncertainty with a determination to FIND OUT FOR YOURSELF WHAT WORKS?

Do you see my point? The real value is asking a better question than “when will women have sex or fall in love?”

The better question is, “How do YOU find out what is true and real, for yourself? And how do you handle the uncertainty of looking? Can you convert into excitement, curiosity, playful determination?”

More and more I am convinced that my job as a master teacher is NOT to answer the question the student asks. 70% of the time it is redirecting the student to ask the much more useful question or questions that they aren’t even thinking to ask.

Peace and piece,
Aldy Harold

P.S. You can get some progress just by mindless imitation; but deep change and huge sastisfaction / suck-sex requires you change the filters and beliefs through which you address the world of women. The best way to do this is twofold – reprogram the belief mentally and through ritual.

 

Why Txt Msgs Sck Dck


Why in the world would any guy in his right mind want to take a step backward down the intimacy ladder with women?

Yet that is exactly what many men are doing by following stupid-ass advice from “PUA GURUS” to use text messaging with women they’ve just met.

Listen: using your voice is far more powerful, conveys far more emotional meaning, and enables you to evoke far more powerful states of emotion than even the most cleverly worded text.

Hey: if it is true that 70% of communication is not the actual words we use, but facial expressions and the tone of our voice, then what in the world do you think is the result of just typing words?

Is it just me, or does that seem like screwing when your dick is soft?

The only time you should ever use text messages with women is after you have already “hooked up”. Once you’ve done that, then texting can be a way to easily arrange meetings or stay in touch, but even then it has to be used judiciously and sparingly.

A few other things to bear in mind:

  • My students often tell me about women who at the end of a phone call will say “text me” or who will want to hang up, yet immediately continue the conversation via txt msg-ng. Is she serious? Don’t you want her to take a step forward, TOWARD you? Will texting “hey wassup?” pull her closer?
  • So she’s into “sexting.” Like cybering, you have to wonder, is she visioning you when she types all that naughty stuff, or is she thinking about a guy she’s actually fckng who isn’t there rite now 2 srvce hr 2day?

Remember: txt mssgs sck dck and only asshls use them on chicks they hvnt fckd.

Peace and piece,

Aldy Harold

P.S. When you can use your language to capture and lead a woman’s imagination and emotions within minutes of meeting her, she’ll probably text you something like, “Cn I cme ovr and sck yr dck?”

Boyfriend Destroyer and kingdom of sarge


I’ve dealt with the ethics of boyfriend destroying. Today, I am going to share an actual Sarge report from a student who successfully used this technique. Stay with me for a moment as I lay it out for you.

There’s a scintillatingly hot clerk at his local convenience store. After seeing her and chatting her up a few times, he realized he needed to step up and claim his results. So, on his third visit, he made his move. Setting aside a plan to go back and say “when I was here earlier I forgot to pick up a few things” he decided instead to clearly state his intention when he saw her.

She heard what he had to say, then nicely told him she has a boyfriend.

His reponse? “So what? I wasn’t expecting you to LEAVE HIM FOR ME.”(Embedded command).

Then she said, “I really care about him, and he wouldn’t like it, and I just don’t do that kind of thing.”

He replied, “I really respect that. I hope someday you change your mind, and have a great day.”

And Then, HIS Day Got Much, Much Better…

At that moment, the most incredible thing happened.

She just melted. She OPENED UP she had been going through a really rough time lately, etc. He looked her in the eye and said “I’m so sorry. I know what it’s like, and things just get worse and worse no matter how hard you try. And I hope things get better for you soon.” He turned to walk away and she caught his arm and said “Wait”, wrote her phone number down and handed it to him.

The Keys To The Kingdom Are Dangling Before You

Just like the most delicious, perfectly shaped, more-than-a-mouthful boobies that have ever made their way to your face while she straddled you.

I tell you, when you get results like this, you are not far from the Kingdom of Sarge. When you hear my words and do them, you shall live in moist, pink abundance, forever and ever, Sarge without end.

The ability to see where the other person is at WITHOUT HAVING TO GO THERE YOURSELF is a key skill in any form of persuasion/seduction/influencing.

When you can combine equanimity with uncertainty – being ok with not knowing what is going to happen AND giving the other person radical permission to have their FIRST response to you, it creates an unbelievably powerful doorwayfor something unexpected to occur.

Believe what I say and you shall inherit the Kingdom of Poontang.

Peace and piece,

Aldy Harold